All things considered it has been a good day. I'm Super happy that I got to spend one more day of this life with my wife in a semi coherent state. She was having trouble sticking to a time line today. What I mean is that although today was always the 3rd of July to her she would skip around what time it was in her mind. For example she would wonder why things that were supposed to happen in the future hadn't happened yet or talk about things that happened in the morning like thy had just happened.
For some reason she also convinced herself that they had taken out her tube for the pain medication and she couldn't have anymore. I showed her the button they gave her so she could administer her own pain drugs and she told me that it wasn't connected anymore. I assured her that it was and told her to push the button. She pushed it and within about 15 minutes she was asleep. I just feel bad that for four or five hours she suffered without anyone knowing it because she thought she couldn't have any more. She woke up and told me goodbye for the night and I hope she went right back to sleep.
It is hard for me to come home at night, but we had already discussed it before surgery and she has reassured me a couple of times since the surgery that this is what she wants; at least for now. I also need to remember that if I don't at least try to take care of myself then I won't be any good to either one of us. It is nice to come home and see my kids, read to them, and kiss them goodnight. A big thanks to my parents for watching them for me so I can spend as much time with Katrina as possible.
Scott,
ReplyDeleteWhat you are experiencing sounds very familiar. Having been through something similar with my spouse last summer. Hang in there! This too shall pass. Glad to know you are getting the rest you need and the children are being cared for in a way that is comfortable for you so you don't have that additional worry. Katrina will likely continue to be unpredictable. My husband seemed very much aware of what was happening and very much in control of managing his own care, but there were times that the pain was so intolerable that he lost track of certain things too. As we talked about the experience later... he does not even remember much of it. Thank goodness! I wish I could forget parts of it!
Our prayers are with you and Katrina! Especially this fast Sunday!