Slowly

I continue to see little improvements everyday. Whether it's just getting down on the floor and playing with the kids more or not being as wobbly on her feet. We've had some excellent diet tips from family and friends who have been or are going through similar things. I'm hoping to show improvement on her weight next Thursday or Friday.

She really is facing this with the same determination that she tackles everything with. The only thing that is missing is a little bit of her old self confidence. But that stems from not being able to be as high functioning as she used to be and the fact that she has to rely on me more than she'd like to.

She is also doing better with visitors. My grandparents stopped by today and her friend from church stopped by yesterday. She did really good both times. We also went to her folks house for dinner and I didn't see much more fatigue than I usually do at the end of the day. 

On a side note; we had a great rain storm this afternoon. Rain is my favorite weather, especially these warm late summer thunder storms. Great stuff!

1 week of 6 done.

The first week of radiation is over. She has done really well and faced things bravely. We are looking forward to the next couple of days to just take a break from all of this. 

The Dave Matthews Band Conundrum

I have four tickets to an upcoming Dave Matthews Band concert. Some of you may recall that I was thrilled a few months ago when I got them because; not only do I REALLY like DMB, but they were FREE! Now I'm not sure what to do. I don't think Katrina will be able to handle it. Hmmm, maybe I'll bring it up to her again in the morning and see what she wants to do.   

Radiation 3 & 4 down 27 to go.

I'm so exhausted. How exhausted? I actually had to get a calculator to figure out what 31 minus 4 is. Yuck! I teach students more difficult stuff than that all the time but my brain just won't get going today. That should have not even required any thought on my part. I don't think I realized how tired I am until that happened.I also missed yesterday without realizing that I had.

So where are we? They will do blood work every Wednesday so she needs to drink lots of water on Tuesday so here veins are nice and plump and easy to suck blood from. They weighed her today and she only weighed just shy of 97 lbs. that is right where she has been but the doctor wants her putting on more weight or at the very least not to lose any more.

We had dinner at her folks on the way home from radiation which was nice. I thought she did really well, but she always seems to melt after we get home from something like that. Her energy level is just in the pits. I really need to get her to eat more. I also need to try to contact the rehab doctor at the hospital with some questions. I'm looking forward to the weekend and the break it brings from the commute to the hospital and back.    

--edit--  I forgot, I took down the calendar tab because they've changed appointment times on us a few times already and it's just too big of a hassle to keep up to date. And I added some haircut pictures to the picture tab.

Radiation 2 of 31

She was pretty nauseated today. when i went to fill her anti-nausea meds the other day the insurance would only authorize thirty pills since that is "A months worth." The folks at Huntsman where going to try to call in the prescription different or something in hopes that it would go through that way. They told me just to give one to here every eight hours and that we'd figure out what to do if the insurance doesn't okay it. Hopefully she'll feel better tomorrow.

Radiation Round 1

Oh No KAtRinA Has been irradiated!

Hey, radioactive ghouls are people too.

Okay maybe not quite that irradiated, but that's not the point. I keep trying to convince her that this is what she'll look like after all this is over but she isn't buying into it.

Joking aside now, she did really well; handled it like a pro. One down Thirty to go.

Outpatient Rehab?

Now that we're home the next and most vital step is of course the radiation to kill off the cancer. But, there is also the question of outpatient rehab. The doctor wrote us some "Prescriptions" so that we could seek some outpatient therapy.  They also had the therapists print out there notes and gave us a copy of her medical records to take with us to wherever we would find rehab. The other thing they did was give me lists of things that I can work with her at home on. I guess that it is really a question of what she feels like she needs to get to where she can accomplish her two goals; return to work and take care of her babies.

My concern is trying to tackle both radiation and therapy at the same time.  Does anyone have any experience with this? It seems to me she'll be pretty tired and sick form the radiation especially since they have to do her whole head and spine. I'd hate to push her or let her push herself too hard on top of all that.

7-24-10 Update

It's good to be home, although there is a lot to get caught up on having not been here for three weeks. Slowly but surely I'm chipping away at the mail/bills that came while we were gone along with unpacking and getting things safer for Katrina.

I have noticed since we have been home and people are coming by to visit that it wears Katrina out. It's a hard balance because she loves to see people. With that in mind, anyone who wants to is welcome to stop by and visit, however, please try to keep it short. 15 to 20 minutes is about all she can handle right now. Just give us a phone call before you come so that I can make sure she isn't sleeping (which she does and needs a lot of) or we have someplace we have to be.

If Tomorrow Never Comes

If Tomorrow  Never Comes
Garth Brooks and Kent Blazy

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
if my time on earth were through
She must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
if my time on earth were through
She must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

Home at last

Home at last and it feels good.

7-22-10 update.

Less than 20 hours left!

Katrina was about in tears after the dry run over at huntsman today. We will have to be sure that she takes her sedative before she goes back for the real thing. We got her schedule for all her treatments going forward I'll try to post them all ASAP.

7-21-10 Update

Doctor Schmidt (our neurosurgeon) stopped by today. He seems to think that chemo won't be necessary, so hopefully he is right and we'll just need radiation. She is doing pretty good. They took her outside in
PT and she climbed a bunch of stairs and walked up and down hills so she is pretty tired this afternoon, but she did great. Her double vision was almost back together when she first got up and her speech was back to normal for a while.

Release Date Update

THE MORNING OF JULY 23!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7-20-10 Update

Katrina continues to progress. She got in trouble yesterday because while ran home she decided to walk around the gym by herself. The Rehab people didn't think that this was the best idea.

She has a little bit of, for lack of a better term, ADD. Her mind will go off on tangents. For example she was supposed to name things that fit in a category. One of the items she named was a computer key. She then sat there quietly for a minute before she started telling us a story about how somebody lost a the letter "G."

Today is the day they meet to discuss release dates. Cross your fingers.  

7-18-10 Morning Update

July 25th, that's the date that Doctor Edgley said he'd be willing to discharge us early. Kind of a bummer because we were hoping for the 23rd so we could spend the holiday weekend with family and kind of make up for the missed independence day stuff. Oh Well, Seven to go. One at a time.

after surgery

I fee' 'ike  a  lottle kid. O
I1 can thihnk better than I cna wspeakl.  I ame ke  a lot pf mistakes. Scott  will edit this aftter
a  write it..  I hit enter we=hen I try to0 captielize.


Translation by Scott:
"I Like Big Butts and I cannot lie. . . . " Oh Wait that can't be right. Ah, I see now: "I feel like a little kid. I can think better than I can speak. Scott will edit this after I write it. I hit enter when I try to capitalize. Scott is Awesome and he should be king of the whole world. Scott is the best most great person in the whole history of awesomeness. I am going to give Scott lots of money when I get out of here. " Dang she caught me; she said, "You are typing a lot more than I did."

Photo Album

I added a photo album tab at the top. Please Ladies, I know my new hair style is super sexy, but I am a married man after all.

7-17-10 Morning Update

The 17th! Wow! Have we really been here half a month. It seems to drag by so slowly as it happens and yet here we are only a week or so away from discharge. We also ran into Katrina's Second Cousin, Sean, in the hall today. We had no idea that he worked here.

 I feel like a lot of the time I just post things like "We're good," or Lame updates like that. They keep us pretty busy during the daytime on weekdays and by the time we get done I don't really feel like writing much. So how are things with us exactly? 

I really feel like things are going pretty good. I've seen a lot of progress I really feel like she would be safe to go home any day now. Most of the problems that I think she is still having stem from the double vision which will take time to heal as her brain does. As that slowly gets better I really expect her coordination and such to return to normal given the progress that we have seen already.

She really is doing great considering what she has been through. Part of that is the great people here who work with her. I think that a bigger part is the love support and prayers of all the people who love her coupled with the divine intervention of the Lord.

I truly do feel like we have been blessed despite the trials that we are facing. As I reflect on the original MRI I don't think she would have survived the remainder of the year if we hadn't discovered the tumor. By the time things got bad enough here ventricle might have been closed off leading to death within a couple of hours or the cancer may have spread. Then from there things have just kind of worked out every step of the way. There is just no way that all the little things that have fallen into place beginning even months before we knew could be anything but divine help.
  

7-16-10 morning update.

Things are going pretty good this morning. Katrina did really well in physical therapy this morning. I'm impressed by how much better she seems to do everyday. She come so far from the lady who could only lay in bed and cry unable to speak that she was right after surgery.

I talked to Doctors Edgley and Barnes this morning about discharging her on the 23rd instead of the 27th. Doctor Edgley seemed to think that might be okay, but said he'd have to discuss it with the rest of the rehab team.

I feel bad.

I feel bad about the rant I went on this morning. I've got to remember that for the most part these nurses really are trying to do their best and that they are in a tough position between the doctors and the patients sometimes. We've never been treated badly by anyone down here. I've got to remember that not every nurse has talked to us and already knows our needs. A lot can get missed at shift change. That is why I am here, to be an advocate for my wife, and I need to do it with patience. Things worked out in the end. I've always been a "Let's dive in and fix the problem now" type of person and all the waiting and slow progress of things kills me sometimes.

7-15-10 Evening Update

On July 22 we'll have a dry run on the radiation. They'll take Katrina in get her on the table and run through the process without actually using any radiation to make sure they have everything set and safe for the real thing. Beginning the 26th she'll receive radiation treatments every week day for 31 sessions. Also my wife now has tattoos. She has small black dots several places on here body. If you didn't know they were tattoos you'd never even notice them. I'm going to try to convince the doctors to move up here release date to July 23rd. That will give us the weekend to make up for the 4th and get ready for the radiation to begin. 

7-15-10 Morning Update

I'm getting frustrated bordering on anger this morning.
I don't know what her schedule will be today. Huntsman and Rehab seem to be fighting over her. I keep telling them that she has an appointment at Huntsman at 10:45 but they just keep saying that they haven't heard anything about it. I called Huntsman and they said that they'd call and get it taken care of. It's a little frustrating. The Rehab Doctor is trying to push stimulants on her even though we keep telling them that they mess with her heart. They just don't want to hear it.  The nurses last night made a big deal about her blood pressure, paging doctors, taking it over and over and over and over again, etc. They wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell them that it is the same as it always is when they wake her up to take it. There is just a whole lot of dismissal of what we say that goes on down here. RAWR! Oh the other thing is, they keep giving her ranitidine. I keep telling them that she doens't need it because it was prescribed to cushion her stomache against the dexamethasone which she hasn't been taking for days now.  What do we know though we're just the patient. We're just here 24 hours a day, while they change every few hours.

So my final thoughts: I'd rather have a living wife who went to radiation but can't walk as good as she used to, than a dead wife who didn't get radiation because learning to walk well is such an important skill for a corpse to have. At 10:30 I'm taking her to huntsman whether they like it or not, what are they going to do kick us out? We gotta get out of this place.

7-14-10 Night Update

We met with the people at Huntsman Cancer today. She'll need to undergo six weeks of radiation. The first four weeks will be of the spine and the whole brain in order to try to ensure that it doesn't spread. The last two weeks will target the tumor areas only. She was sad about the fact the she will lose all of her hair; especially after the way the cut her hair and head was such that she could cover it up just by wearing her hair down. Needless to say I am sporting a new hairdo, or lack there of, tonight. The radiation treatments should start the middle of next week sometime.

7-14-10 Morning Update

We slept pretty good last night. The pretty much leave us alone at night as long as she seems to be sleeping well when they poke their heads in, which is a nice change from being woke up every couple of hours.

Calendar

I have added a calendar tab above at the top of the posts. I'll post her schedule there everyday.

7-13-10 afternoon update: Projected discharge.

Our anticipated discharge date is July 27th. It's not what we'd hoped for but kind of what we had expected. 2 weeks more.

7-13-10 Schedule and Update

815-900 OT
945-1030 OT
1300-1345 ST
1430-1515 PT
1600-1645 PT

Thinks are going pretty good this morning. I think her speech is a little louder and more clear than it has been. She also seems to be turning her head more than she has been. They meet today to discuss and set her projected discharge date.

7-12-10 Noon Update

We  did a lot of work this morning, working out and baking cookies. Our insurance said they'd only cover 20 sessions of each type of therapy. I think Katrina would really like to go home Friday so maybe that would work anyway. We met Katrina's Co-worker's husband Danny today. He works here in Rehab and it's nice to know somebody here. I feel super rushed which is kind of a nice change after what feels like an eternity of sitting and doing nothing.

7-12-10 Morning update and schedule

She has been running a bit of a fever. She was at 99 at about 12:30 last night. They are watching that. She also told them she doesn't want Loratab she just wants Tylenol so we'll see how that goes.

Schedule

900-945 Physical Therapy (PT)
945-1030 Assesment
1030-1115 Speech Therapy (ST)
1115-1200 Occupational Therapy (OT)
1345-1430 OT
1515-1600 PT

Momentum

I've had a few people tell me how strong we are or how they are impressed with how we are handling this. I guess maybe I've been misrepresenting how this is going.  It's not a pretty scene down here in the mud and blood like it might come across on this blog. It's a battle more mentally and spiritually taxing than anything I think we've ever faced together. It's hard, it sucks, I hate it, and I want it all to go away. Katrina and I have butted heads more times in the last few days than we probably have in the last couple of years. She is as stubborn, bull headed, and fiercely independent as ever she was. I cry, I pray, I hope, and I worry. It's a fight everyday to face another round of uncertainty. Don't look at us as some sort of "I don't know if I could handle it like they are" example.  It's not really a matter of choice. What else can we do? It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, one that I've turned to to help me get through a few struggles in my adult life that are brought on by things over which I have no control:

‘I wish it need not have happened in my time,’ said Frodo. ― ‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, ‘and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.’ ― ‘The Lord of the Rings’, Book I, Chapter 2.

 If you could sit where I sit and feel what I feel you would know it's nothing so admirable as it may appear. It's just a grim determination to carry forward. 

If you want an example to follow look to the one I have. From the day we found out about Katrina's tumor I have watched and thought about what I know of one man. A man who is so humble that the very fact that I admire him for the way he has stood by his wife that it might embarrass him. His name is Pete MacFarlane. I knew, as I thought about all the possible outcomes of this surgery, that If I could be even a quarter of the man  for Katrina that Pete has been to his dear wife Nancy then things would be okay. He has stood by her through so much, most of which I only have the fainest inkling. Yet he has still fulfilled; No, I would say magnified, every calling I've seen him take on. He always has a smile and a firm handshake. He always wants to know how my family is, and he genuinely cares when he asks. He always wants to serve. I can see the way he truly, deeply  loves his wife in the way he serves her and yet still serves wherever else he can. I have known other, lesser men who have abandoned their wives when their health became less than convenient. I chose to be like Pete. I chose to honor my covenant with my wife regardless of the outcome of this trial we are facing. Look to Pete as an example, not me. 

I'm just Scott, weary, tired and broken. I continue my march because I made a choice to try to be like Pete, and now it takes less effort to keep marching than to stop my forward momentum and lay down to die. There is no strength here, just a choice, followed by forward momentum.           

7-11-10 Morning Update

All things considered we had a pretty good night. They only woke us up a couple of times to check her vitals and she went twelve hours without pain meds. I don't get any phone reception down here in rehab so I'll have to wander back up to the third floor to try to make some phone calls.

7-10-10 Night Update

First of all let me warn you that I'm doing this post on my iPod while I wait for my sleeping pills to kick in. So, if for some reason I start making gross gramatical errors or just plain no sense at all you will know why.

Also, I was trying to moderate comments and I hit publish but blogger threw an error. I tried it a couple more times then it came up and said "comments rejected." please don't be offended if yours was one of them. I did read and appreciate them.

We are now in our own room and I think (cross my fingers) that all the transfer hiccups have been sorted out. We were getting pretty discouraged with how things went, but they are looking up now. They have also adjusted her diet to stuff that is a little softer like pasta and whatnot.

Katrina got to see our kids which was really good for all of us. That's been the one of hardest parts for both of us; the being away from the kids.

We are planning on trying to hit church service here tomorrow. I must admit that 30 minute church in my street clothes sounds like a great idea to me.

7-10-10 Afternoon Update

Things are going okay. Katrina hates rehab and that all they do is stupid stuff.  Frankly, from what I've seen so far I'm a little inclined to agree. Cognitive tests that I'd screw up on and stretching make me wonder why we can't do that at home for free. Still at least they told us they'd be giving us our own room today so that might help things feel a little less frustrating. The level of care we receive here is definitely not the same. They didn't serve her dinner last night or breakfast this morning. I wasn't here due to the room situation but my mother-in-law went down and fixed that.  Don't get me wrong the people who have worked with her here seem to be every bit as great as upstairs, but there just seems to be something broken or not quite working right down here. Something behind the scenes.

On the bright side; our kids will be here in about an hour and I know that Katrina is looking forward to seeing her babies. 

7/9/10 Night Update

Well after much waiting today they finally moved us down to rehab. There big thing is that she is off balance and slurring her speech. If I was doped up on that much narcotic I'd be off balance and slurring my speech. too. Hopefully as they take her off it most of her functionality returns. Then we can face the Radiation.

Yuck! When I think of radiation I always think of This Movie. Not a pleasant image if you've ever seen it. I know it won't be like the movie, but that is the image "radiation" always brings to mind. It was a good movie though.

The bad news is they stuck her in a room with another lady. That means I'm not allowed to stay with her at night if she wants me to. They promised they'd try to get her in a private room some time this weekend.

Come on Katrina. You've been my strength for so long now and yet not long enough. I know that you have it in you to beat the living daylights out of this rehab thing. And then to take the radiation in stride. I'm rooting for you.

Time Line

I published a Page detailing the time line of Katrina's Tumor to see it click the time line tab above the blog posts.

Domain Finished

Okay, the new domain should be working, along with comments and all the other stuff. Also Katrinatumor.blogspot.com should be automatically redirecting to KatrinasTumor.net

7/9/10 Morning Update

They told us that they are not going to go back in after the last little bit of tumor. So, they'll move us to rehab sometime today. Also, they have been talking about taking out Katrina's staples today.

Katrina was terrified last night about the potential for having another surgery in the next couple of days. So this morning's news comes as a relief to both of us. If felt like we were going to hit the reset button and need to redo this whole last week.

Pardon Our Dust.

Sorry, I know that a lot of things (including comments) aren't working due to the transition to the new address. 404 errors galore around here. If you can't get somewhere you want to go try replacing the "www.katrinastumor.net" part in the address bar with "www.katrinatumor.blogspot.com" The Transition is an automated process. Hopefully it is complete sometime tonight or tomorrow.

Bad News

Her tumor is not benign. It is a (Medulloblastoma?) Blastoma. The MRI also showed a small area of tumor about the size of a pencil eraser that is still there. In adults, this type of tumor has about a 70% 10 year survival rate when treated aggressively with radiation and chemotherapy.

Today the "Tumor Board" here at the will look at whether the amount of tumor left would be better treated with the radiation (that she has to do anyway) or with another surgery. They should make a decision today.  

If they decide to do another surgery we will remain here. Then in the next few days before the brain and skull heal they'll go back in again so that it will be a lot quicker and a more easy surgery since all the pathways are still relatively open.

If they decide to leave it in and just treat with radiation they will move us down to Rehab tomorrow so that she can get functioning enough to begin the radiation and maybe chemo as soon as possible.

7-8-10 Morning Update

Things have gone pretty good. She spent most of the morning sitting in a chair or walking. The doctors came by and said that she could probably get her staples out sometime in the next two or three days. Just waiting on pathology, still.

So far I think we have been pretty lucky as far has having a brain tumor goes. I think that it has more to do with faith and prayer than it does luck though. Thank you again to all of you who have prayed on our behalf. So often we go about our daily lives and feel so Isolated; like if we fell only a few would take notice. It has been amazing to me to see the outpouring of love and concern  from all directions.

7-7-10 Night Update

We were hoping to be moved to physical rehab today but the pathology on her tumor did not come back as the Doctors had expected. Doctor Schmidt is reluctant to release her from here until he has it back. I can only assume that  this is because he may wish to pursue some other avenue of treatment depending on the results.
Still we should be moved sometime tomorrow.

She makes me laugh with the stuff she believes has happened while she is high on her medications. For example, she currently insists that My brother-in-law's wife, Kate, was admitted to the hospital here and is hiding from her in the next room. I told her we could call Kate and ask her about it, but she just said that Kate would lie and say she wasn't here. 

 I'm missing my children something fierce. one of the advantages to being moved to rehab is that they should be able to come visit. 

7-7-10 Morning Update

Katrina did pretty good through the night. I spoke with the doctors about the hallucinations she has been having they told me that it could be a result of the narcotics they've had her on and that as they back her off them they'll keep an eye on it and work it up if they need to. That was a major relief to me, I was worried that it would be permanent. I don't know quite how to deal with it. Do I just let her have her fantasies or do I try to anchor her to reality by telling her what has and hasn't happened? Some of the stuff she says is pretty funny and one day I'll have to give her a hard time about it. The same way she gives me a hard time about jabbering on and on about macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes when I came out of having my wisdom teeth removed.

She always has a hard time in the mornings. She begs me not to leave her. I have to re assure her that I'm not going anywhere and that I'll stay with her as long as she wants me to. 

Post By Katrina as Dictated to Scott

 I like people to come visit me. They have me on light sedatives to make me sleep but not to be in a coma. I've been very sleepy and tired since the surgery.

7-6-10 Afternoon Update

There has been some talk of discharging her. Nothing concrete just a hint of it on the wind. Rehabilitation came in today and said they thought it would be a good idea for her to come to them for in patient rehab after she is released. I'm really kind of torn. She seems to do pretty good with stuff if you ask me, I mean given that her brain was just sliced open and fondled for twelve hours just four days ago.  Also, she isn't doing very good here. It's a lot noisier in this wing of the hospital and the lady next door is very combative about EVERYTHING, which just creates more noise. All they are really doing now is giving Katrina pain pills. She's not hooked up to anything. Just laying in bed and taking pain pills. I can't get a straight answer from her about what she wants to do other than she doesn't want to sleep her because of the lady next door and the helicopters.

I just worry about getting her home and something happening. The nurse or somebody should be in shortly and then hopefully we can talk to them about it.



Edit: 6:04

We just spoke with one of the doctors. They are talking about moving her to rehab tomorrow. I'm kind of bummed because I was hoping she wouldn't need it. That's okay though. I need to check with the insurance to see what they'll cover with regards to that.

I'm tired of the hospital.  

7-6-10 Morning Update

She was pretty upset when we got here this morning. She is also pretty loopy, meaning she has had lots of "Visitors;"  People who I know haven't been down to see her. I get the impression that she didn't sleep well last night and that she is having trouble telling the difference between her dreams and reality. 

I also forgot to mention that she got moved to a new room last night. she is now in Nuero-Acute Care. She still can't really receive visitors though.

New Domain

Hi all. Just a quick blurb. I'm transitioning the blog here to www.KatrinasTumor.net our own Domain! You'll still be able to access it via katrinatumor.blogspot.com but hopefully this will give us an easier way for people to remember and share the Address.

It may take up to three days for the transition to be complete I'll let you know when it is.

7-5-10 Night Time Update.

Things went really well today. She Is off the pain med, both the local one that went straight into her head and the one the went into her wrist.

One of the doctors came in today and said that she is way ahead of the curve as far as her recovery. He said that is really good given that they don't normally operate on these types of tumors if it can be avoided because of the difficulties related to getting to the tumor and recovering afterward.

He was concerned about the amount of food she is eating. She should be eating more I'll try to push her in that department tomorrow.

7-5-10 Morning Update

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY WIFE!
Nine Wonderful Years Today!

Katrina, was pretty upset this morning. Several years ago our dog, Biggs, died on the third day after he had surgery. She is afraid that she is going to die today. Apart from that I think she is doing really well. Here pupils have been really small ever since surgery, but today they are dilating like they should. Also, it looks like a lot of the swelling has gone down. Her speech is easier to understand today too.  

We did a video conference with the kids which I think helped the kids and Katrina a lot.
The kids thought her Eye patch was cool so the nurse gave us two more for them.

7-4-10 Afternoon Update Part II

Physical Therapy just came and she walked from here room to the end of the hall and back. I think that the nurse listed it as 150 feet! She did great and I'm super proud of her. She was still unsteady but I think that it was pretty impressive for just two days after surgery. Way to go wife!

7-4-10 Afternoon Update

Still more of the same. she is eating a lot better than she was though. It's still not very much food but more than she was able to eat yesterday. She got mad at me for pushing the nurse call button over and over again, which I found kind of funny since I wasn't. Anyway that gave me a good laugh. Now that I think about it that might not have been as funny as it seemed. maybe I'm going crazy from sitting here so long.

Anyway, they told her they would help her take a shower if she wanted to later and we hope to skype the children later since they can't come see her while she is in the NCCU.

7-4-10 Morning Update

She seems like she is doing about the same as yesterday. They say she slept through the night pretty good. She seems pretty run down though. Maybe she tried too hard yesterday.

7/3/10 Night Update

All things considered it has been a good day. I'm Super happy that I got to spend one more day of this life with my wife in a semi coherent state. She was having trouble sticking to a time line today. What I mean is that although today was always the 3rd of July to her she would skip around what time it was in her mind. For example she would wonder why things that were supposed to happen in the future hadn't happened yet or talk about things that happened in the morning like thy had just happened.

For some reason she also convinced herself that they had taken out her tube for the pain medication and she couldn't have anymore. I showed her the button they gave her so she could administer her own pain drugs and she told me that it wasn't connected anymore. I assured her that it was and told her to push the button. She pushed it and within about 15 minutes she was asleep. I just feel bad that for four or five hours she suffered without anyone knowing it because she thought she couldn't have any more. She woke up and told me goodbye for the night and I hope she went right back to sleep.

It is hard for me to come home at night, but we had already discussed it before surgery and she has reassured me a couple of times since the surgery that this is what she wants; at least for now. I also need to remember that if I don't at least try to take care of myself then I won't be any good to either one of us. It is nice to come home and see my kids, read to them, and kiss them goodnight. A big thanks to my parents for watching them for me so I can spend as much time with Katrina as possible.

July 3 Afternoon Update

The doctor came in and spoke with her for a moment. Her said that the MRI they took this morning looks good and that she is doing better than most people.

I think she is getting frustrated with me though. I don't know why. I have to remind myself that she is on loads of drugs right now.


She's talking and doing really well  given what she went through. The doctor says she needs to just rest for a few days, I say me too.

7-3-10 Morning Update

She is doing WAY better than last night. She's talking and trying to look around. I'm super encouraged. I wouldn't say that she is night and day compared to last night, but maybe night and dawn. Physical therapy is here working with her right now. They have her sitting up and she seems to be doing pretty good with all the things she is being asked to do.

Last night and this morning.

It was hard to see her last night. She was obviously in a lot of pain. She can't really control her eyes yet and she couldn't speak. Both are side effects we were warned about and are supposed to be temporary. I wanted so much to take her place and remove this struggle from her.

While she is in nuero critical care(NCC) I can't really stay with her at night so I came home to get some sleep after the looooong day yesterday. I called the nurse and he said that she had a good night and that her abilty to move her eyes had improved slightly.

7:50 Update

Katrina is out of surgery. The Tumor was very vascular so it bled quite a bit which slowed the surgery down. We'll get the pathology report Wednesday to find out what kind of tumor it is and where we go from here. She is already awake and responding to simple commands. The breathing tube is out and they don't think they'll need to put her in a coma. All in all the prognosis sounds really good. It has been a long day and I can't wait to see my wife. We should be able to go see her in half an hour to an hour.

Thank you to everyone all over who has held a vigil with us today. It has meant a lot to log in and see the constant flow of comments from all over the world showing support for us.

7:15 update

They are closing right now. Then they'll move her to Neuro Critical Care and come talk to us.

4:30 update

Katrina is still in surgery.They are disecting the tumor and looking at it under the microscope. We should know more againg in an hour and a half to two hours.

2:30 update

I just spoke with Georgia(our nurse). Katrina's vitals are good. See is doing great. And they will update me again in two hours if they are still going.

12:30 update

Everything is still going well.

Hopefully we are about half done.

Update 11:00

I went for a walk after I posted the last update and ran into her anesthesiologist. He told me that they had just finished putting the drain in hear head so they coul monitor her brain fluids and that they where just about to jump into the heart of the surgery. He said she was doing Good.

10:40 update

Things are going good so far. They said they'd let me know more in an hour and a half to two hours.

News Coverage

I don't really know how to feel about it but, The Standard Examiner ran a story on my wife and her tumor today. To me we are just two people like any others. I don't know that our story is any more special than that of the  family across the room. I mean as I sit here in the waiting room and look around, I see a room full of people all of whom are anxious for some loved on. All around me are bleary eyed, worried people. We are just Scott and Katrina, two more in a sea of turmoil.

Thank you all for the love and support you have shown.  It has already been far more than I expected. Truly I had no idea the number of people who would care for/about us.

Away we go.

Well, she's had her MRI and they have wheeled her away. They said it would be about an hour of prep work then they would start the surgery. They also said they would try to update us every two hours.

T minus 9 hours.

In just under 9 hours we should be at the hospital for the main event. If ever you have felt like praying for us, now is the time. For those that have been praying already, we thank you.

Also, a big thank you to Lincoln elementary for the touching display of love that you showed us today. The thousand crains were a wonderful and fitting gesture. You have each done so much for us and offered still more. Thank you a million times over. Thank you, thank you.

I will try to post every piece of news I can no matter how small as it comes tommorrow, so stay tuned. Here we go.

Thursday Night

I should be sleeping, but I just don't want to do it. I am supposed to check in at 6:00 a.m. Which means we have to be on the road driving at 5 a.m. I then fill out my paper work and go get my surgery MRI done. After that it is surgery! I don't feel nervous. I will be asleep, so I will be fine. Hopefully, everyone else is fine, too.

"RE: Katrina's Religious Views" or "Why I Agree."

            Let me preface this. Religion is not something I'm very comfortable discussing openly with more than a select few people. Everyone has differing opinions on what is and isn't true as well as what things do and do not mean. I think that religion is and should be a highly personal thing and apart from the basic doctrines of the gospel so should the application. In defense of this view I point out that the lord gives us only a handful of commandments and lots of guidelines. I also hate feeling like I'm preaching or being preached to. My relationship with god is personal. That said I can jump into my response.

           Can God Remove Katrina's Tumor? YES, he is God for crying out loud. Will he? Probably not. The question then becomes why.

            I have always viewed God as a loving father rather than a mysterious entity who commands me from on high, and takes little notice of me other than to see if I do, or don't follow him. The role of Father is one I better understand now that I have children of my own. This view of him as a father, has allowed me to lean on him like I would my own father at times like this when I need help. So let's relate what I know about fatherhood to God and Katrina's situation.

            I have two examples that I want to put out there. First, there are times when my children do things that I know are dangerous and will cause them pain. If I always remove the potential for harm they will continue to find i,t and flirt with the danger. So there are times when, if their life and long term well being are not at risk, I let them hurt themselves. Now, that is not to say that I sit idly by and watch. I warn them, "Don't play with that you'll hurt yourself." however, I don't prevent them from making that choice. They learn better and more thoroughly to trust me and to stay away from the things I tell them to leave alone if I let them discover  it on there own. I think that, this is a good example of how God works with us.

           Now the second example, and the one I feel applies most here. When I watch my children struggle with something; a toy, how to do something etc., my instinct is to jump in and save them the frustration by doing it for them.  However, if I do that they will not learn from the experience and they won't grow from figuring it out. Now if they ask me for help should I just do it for them because they asked? It's more effective to give them a nudge in the right direction and see what they can do. It builds their confidence and makes them stronger.

            Now, given that I view God as a Father figure let's apply the second example to our current situation. If we don't ask for help I don't think God will intervene. I reference this picture which is based on Revelation 3: 20.

         Here we see Jesus knocking at a door without a handle on the the outside. He wants to come in and help but we must take the first step and open the door.  Most times God will not intervene where we do not ask him to. So if we ask for help does God just remove the obstacle we face? Most of the time he does not. Jesus prayed in Gethsemane " Father, if thou be willing remove this cup from me," and yet we know that he did not. Do we suppose that our trials are greater than those that Jesus faced? The Lord will help us face those things that we need to face if we ask. He can guide us, he can guide the hand of the surgeon or call to his mind some method that will help the most. By helping instead of removing the Lord helps us to grow in faith and strength.  Like a loving father God allows us to scrape our knees, and to struggle with problems so that we may grow. All things shall be for our good. God knows the end from the beginning, where as we can only see this moment, this life that is only a blink in eternity. What more could I ask for than strength to face this, comfort with whatever the outcome may be, and that if the lord is willing, he preserve my wife?

Thursday Morning

I have a busy day planned for the day before surgery. I need to pick out family pictures, pack for myself and the kids, and my school is coming by. The doctor increased my meds, so I also need to see about getting a refill. Then early morning MRI with spots before surgery. I will call this evening to find out what time my surgery actually is. I bet it is is earlier since it is supposed to be so long. If I don't sleep well tonight, I can sleep all day tomorrow!