Friday Update 7-1-11 One year and Counting

July Second will probably always be surgery day for us. It was probably one of the longest most devastating days of my life and for her the day that only lasted a couple of hours.

Still we've come a long way since then and it fells good to be marking anniversaries.

Things are going good. The rehab specialist we are seeing says that she is seeing progress, which is encouraging. We stopped by her school today and her interactions seemed to be more . . . normalized(?) than before. I hope that given this coming year off to heal she'll be able to return to what she loves doing.

Friday . . . Er . . . Saturday Update 4-23-11

I meant to post yesterday but the day just got away from me.

The last couple of weeks have really been a roller coaster ride of emotion.

Last week Katrina's Principal Provided us with a letter that described the areas of concern that she was seeing with Katrina at work. It was very well worded and showed a lot of love and concern while being necessarily blunt. It described how Katrina functioned before the cancer as opposed to now to make it clear that this isn't a choice Katrina made to just stop providing the best quality work she can.

Monday we took that letter to our rehabilitation doctor at the hospital. He glanced over it an recommended that Katrina go back to part time as well as begin some cognitive therapy again. He referred us to a lady in Sugar House who he she in his opinion was the best in the state for these sorts of issues. Being the best in the state we are on a waiting list to see her.

Tuesday the district approved the hiring of another certified teacher "Sub" for Katrina to team teach with for the rest of the year.

Thursday the doctors office called us. After the doctor had looked more closely at the letter He decided that it would be best if Katrina went off work entirely. We are currently working to get her disability insurance going again.

In a way it is kind of a relief to me. It has been so hard for me to watch as she struggled and fought so hard to do the best she could and kept coming up sort at work. The fact of the matter is that she just wasn't ready cognitively to return to work. Unfortunately there was no way we could have known that without alot of pain and stress all around. She may have to work a few days into may but after that she'll be back disability for . . . we don't know how long. Maybe a year, maybe until she's 65.

I'm okay with her being home, and I'm okay with looking for work myself. The only problem is that I don't feel like I can find a job just yet if I've got to be taking her to Sugar House and back all the time. In the Mean time I mentioned that do have another project that I have been working on, so I'm going to polish up some of that and see what happens. I really hope it works, It's something I've always wanted to do and being home these last few months has given time to do it.

The future is still very unsure, but I'm more at peace than I have been in weeks.

Friday Update 4-15-11

It has been a tough week for us. Katrina has really struggled at work this term. It is an unfortunate situation all around I don't don't think anyone involved feels good about how things have gone. Parents are understandably concerned about the education of their students. It's just not a happy situation for any of us and we are currently working with her principal and the district to see what can be done to help Katrina. We are currently working on a couple of ideas (which I won't discuss here) that should help to ensure The students get a quality education while still allowing Katrina to Work in some capacity.

I'm also putting out feelers about employment myself in hopes of possibly relieving some of her burden depending on what we her back from the district in the next little bit. Also I've been working on a project at home that one day might help with that regard as well, but again I don't want to discuss that publicly either. especially since it might all be pipe dreams anyway.

We decided just today to register our daughter for kindergarten at the school near our home instead of Katrina's school. At this point we aren't sure where Katrina will be next month let alone next year. Plus the Local school has all day kindergarten which Katrina's school doesn't

How can I sum this week up. A whole lot of yuck and a whole lot of tears.

P.S. To the anonymous person or Persons who keep dropping envelopes in Katrina's box at work; Thank You. It helps immensely.

Friday Update 4-08-11

Well, Katrina went of track Wednesday or rather she went on spring break with her off track time starting Monday. It's nice for both of us to have the break.

Friday . . . Er . . . Saturday Update 4-2-11

I didn't forget to post yesterday I just struggled all day with how/what to post.

I am usually a pretty private person so it's easy to post when things are going okay, but when we struggle my pride wants me to keep it to myself.

Katrina is really struggling at work. Her Principal told us that she has seen improvement, but It bothers Katrina that she isn't back to normal. She was so high functioning that it drives her nuts to have to struggle. For the most part the parents of her students have been very supportive. There have been those who are creating waves though, and to be honest their complaints aren't entirely without merit. I can completely understand their concerns and I know that Katrina is working her heart out to fix them. Most of all she struggles with classroom management.

We all have a sixth sense that can detect when someone is weak. It's a natural survival instinct. Unfortunately this means that subconsciously her sixth graders realize she isn't as strong as she could be and with that is a loss of respect that makes discipline harder than normal.

I have offered to find a full time job so that she can quit and stay home with our kids, but she wants to teach. She's just not the type to give up. Despite her struggles she loves her job, and she loves her students.

The second struggle that we have had this week is that her paycheck was far less than we expected. We had just enough to pay our bills with nothing left over for gas or groceries.

My mother stopped by last night and gave us a small loan (or gift if we can't pay it back). I am about to go through all of our cabinets and see what I can scrape together for meals this month. Then we'll go to the store later to try to squeeze some dollars out of dimes. I know that I should be stressed about our finances this month but I feel oddly at peace about it, like everything will be okay. Good thing my kids love mac and cheese, and ramen noodles.


*update*
After scraping the insides of my cupboards I was able to plan out enough meals so that when we went shopping we only spent $118.00. Not too shabby for a months worth of groceries.

*update*
Katrina's dad and brother showed up with a bunch stuff groceries us. We would have been okay, but it's nice to have full cabinets.

update 2-19-11

Well, It has been a rough week. We had thought that Katrina was doing well at work, but I guess she has still been struggling with math instruction. It's not that she can't do the math because she can. It's just that the way she has been teaching the students isn't working. She's going to observe another how another teacher teaches math. She's also going to a training next week that should give her some math lesson ideas. Additionally, they are trying to get her mentor similar to a first year teacher so that she can kind of teacher re-hab.

She loves teaching so much and it's hard to see her struggle with this after she has made so much progress. I just hope that she continues to progress.

Friday Update 12-17-10

We went to a doctors appointment yesterday with the rehab doctor (Doctor Edgley). Her says that she appears to be doing good. She still has some balance issues but her youth has allowed her to compensate so that she isn't falling. He anticipates that, that will slowly correct itself because of her age. 

We also discussed her work with him and her wrote her a note that said she is ". . . cleared and encouraged to return to work full time."

Next week we have an MRI and a follow up with the nuerosurgeon to go over the scan.

Friday Update 12-10-10

Things continue to go well. We met with Katrina's Principal and Assistant Principal today. We identified some areas that they have seen improvement in and some areas she seems to be struggling in. We have some doctors appointments this coming week and we'll discuss those things and see what we can do. I think that just between the her and me we have developed a strategy to help adapt to some of the areas she is having trouble with.

Frid. . .Err. . . Saturday update 11/20/2010

Things are still going well. We've had a bit of a hiccup with her disability Insurance but we are trying to get that straightened out.

She met with her Principal yesterday and they decided to shoot for returning to work full time in January.

Friday Update 11-12-10

I continue to be impressed by how well Katrina seems to be handling being back to work. I must confess that I was expecting her to just collapse energy wise when she got home. I was thinking that she would be going to bed at 6:00 or taking a nap as soon as she got home, but that is just not the case. We are settling into a routine that is similar to the one we had prior to June.

On a side note she got an i Pad at work today, and I guess the teachers at my school got them too. I'm envious, but not too much. It really felt like a giant i pod.

How'd it go?

So how did her first week of work go?

She says it went well and i didn't really see any signs of it taking a negative toll on her. I hope that this week goes as well for her.

On a separate note, I'm going to try to force myself to write at least every Friday. even if it is just to say that things are going good.   

Back to it.

Well, tommorrow Katrina and I start to get back into a work routine. I have seen the way she seems to be handling getting prepared and I must say that I have been impressed by how well together she seems to be about it. Maybe I just didn't have enough faith in her, maybe I just anticipate the worst too often. I think that as long as it doesn't wear her out she'll do great.

I'm more worried about my own job now. It has been nearly, if not, five months since I've been to work regularly. I'm worried about getting back into the swing of things. I guess it is just one more step in this whole process that I'm not anxious about.

It has been such a long journey, and sometimes it seems like It has been years rather than months. I know I feel that I have aged years rather than months and I don't feel like I'm even the same person as I was. This I know, I love my wife my love for her is the strongest it ever gas been. I love my children they have been a bright spot, a lighthouse in the dark and tumultuous sea at times. The time we spent away from them gas been hard. I am eternally thankful for all the love prayers and gifts we have received.I know that without the love and support of our heavenly father I would have long since collapsed under this burden.

Thank you all for what you have done for us. It's hard to tell at this point if we are leaving the woods behind or just entering a clearing before plunging back into the dark and vine strewn pathways of the forest. either way it is nice to enjoy a little bit of sunlight for a while. 

Nerves

As the first of November draws nearer I find myself looking  forward with trepidation. I'm worried about how she'll handle returning to work. I'm worried about how I'll handle returning to work. I'm worried about the doctors deciding to do chemo and setting us back. Our insurance allotted rehab appointments run out next week and I'm worried about how things will go. She has made leaps and bounds of progress thanks to rehab and soon we'll be on our own.

We have some Doctors appointments next week so unless something negative happens look for another post later next week.

An Agonizing Decision to Make

                 Last night was long and it caused me to reflect on how things are going. I realized that I haven't been and won't be able to give the after school program as much attention and devotion as I should. I also realized that I wouldn't be able to give my wife the attention and devotion that she deserves right now. Therefore, I put in for a family medical leave of absence today with the intent to return sometime in late October or the first of November if everything goes as planned.

                    It was an agonizing decision to make. but when it boiled down to three factors. First, I really feel like my inability to function at 100% has been holding the program back as it gets going this year. Second, I am concerned about what illnesses I might bring home to her with her compromised immune system ( I have had multiple loved ones battle cancers of all different sorts and in the end it has been the compromised immune system that killed them). Third, while I was waffling on what to do I asked Katrina what she wanted. Tearfully she told me that she wanted me here with her but that she didn't want me to miss work.  That cinched it, my priority has always been her so the second half didn't matter.