A Relief

As the first of December edges closer and closer a point of stress that I have felt more and more keenly each day is the fact that we had not heard back about Katrina's disability pay. I had already swallowed my pride and met with my Bishop to tell him that we may be in need of some assistance come the first of December if we didn't get it straightened out.

We had been receiving a partial pay check from the the catastrophic leave fund that Katrina has been paying into. However, the first week of November we didn't receive any pay. We found out that her catastrophic leave was up and that long term disability was supposed to have taken over. Unbeknown to us there was some paper work that we were supposed to have filled out. I scraped the bottom of our charitable account and a few other places and managed to cobble together enough money to scrape by this month.

Today we received a check from her long term disability insurance for not just last month but for a few months back pay we didn't expect. It is a relief to me. We will be sitting good financially again this month and should be able to put a little bit back in savings for if things get tight again. Hopefully things continue to go well and she can return to work full time in January like she wants to. Then, if thing continue to go well, we should be on stable ground again.

Once again, I feel truly blessed. I know that the lord has helped us through what could have financially ruined us.  Thank you to everyone who have been the instruments of the lord in this.

Giving Thanks

What am I thankful for this thanksgiving?


As we listen to numbers and statistics about rates of survival and likely hood of relapse I am thankful for the time I have had to keep my wife these last few months. I firmly believe that I would have been a single father by now (or very soon) given the exponential way her symptoms were increasing. I am truly thankful to the lord for each day I get to have her here with me.

I am thankful for modern medicine. I enjoy history and sometimes fantasize about what it would have been like to live in a more simple time. A solitary log cabin by a stream in a wind swept valley with a garden and some livestock stirs a desire inside me that is almost painful when I look at the complicated way the world functions today. The problem with this fantasy is that Katrina would have died of  some unknown disease. She would have continued to waste away until her forth ventricle was completely blocked. Then, hydrocephalus would have killed her long before the cancer spread, and we would have had no idea why she had died.

I am thankful for the charity of others. The truly unexpected outpouring of love, prayers, money, and other things has been and amazing blessing to us. I distinctly remember multiple instances where other people have had medical problems and watching as this same outpouring fell on them and their families. I also distinctly remember grumbling privately about how if it was us we wouldn't be treated the same. It was due to a persons popularity, position, etc. that they received the charity that they did. I stand corrected and completely humbled. I realize now that those thoughts and feelings where a sin (envy? jealousy? pride?) and I regret them deeply.  

I am thankful for family and friends who have done everything they can (and probably more) to help us through this. I really don't know what we would have done if not for all the babysitting, meals, visits, love, prayers, etc. that have been provided to us.

I am thankful that Katrina has recovered as well has she has and I pray that she continues to do so. I really feel like my love for her is the strongest that it has ever been. This trial has been like the fire, hammer and anvil of the forge that tempered our relationship and increased its strength.

I am thankful for this trial. I feels odd to say that and given the choice I'd probably still chose avoid all we have been through and still have to face. The problem with that is the blessings, lessons, and strength we have received far surpass the trials. Our priorities as husband and wife, parents, and human beings have changed drastically in a way that only something like this could have done. 

Most of all I am thankful for a loving farther in heaven whom I know has carried me through this; who has given me strength that I never could have found on my own.

The Fundraiser

The fundraiser went great. Katrina did awesome and made it through the whole thing. I was expecting her to give out and want to go home after a couple of hours. It was amazing, and I'm truly grateful to Nicole and her family and friends for putting it on for us. I'm also extremely grateful for all the wonderful things that people made to sell. It was truly spectacular. I wish that I could thank each and every person who came, those who made stuff, those who donated, and those who helped put it on. However, that would never be possible. So I want all of you to know that I truly do appreciate the part each of you played in this. 

I know that many of you are wondering what the amount of money we received was. I'm not entirely comfortable sharing that. We did do pretty well and it suffices to say that my stresses about medical bills are alleviated, at least for the time being. You never know what the future will hold but I pray we are walking out of the woods instead of just beginning our journey into its dark heart.

Words truly cannot express how I feel tonight. I was so surprised by who all showed up and all the wonderful beautiful things that were there. Thank you thank you, a million times thank you, to everyone.