Katrina's Religious Views

Actually, this post may go against some of the religious teachings I have received.

First, I believe in miracles. However, I also realize that I am a realist. I believe a majority of the miracles were just things that couldn't be explained before. Technology and medicine are far more advanced now and can take care of many health issues. I also have an easier time believing in messed up lab work or notes put in the wrong folder. When looking at an MRI of my brain tumor, I have a hard time believing that it could just disappear. It's only the size of a golf ball!! Especially with the nose I have. My siblings and cousins should be checked if the tumor leaves my head! Really though, I was relieved to  find out something was wrong with me. I was beginning to think I was just crazy! All my symptoms match that of the tumor in the place it is. Otherwise, the doctors still wouldn't know what was wrong.

Second, I do believe in priesthood blessings. I have a hard time with expecting a blessing to take away what is there, though. They can help the people involved in a situation, but not take that situation away. I had a blessing before my MRI to check for spreading. That was after I knew about the tumor, though. I also plan on getting a blessing before the surgery to help those who have to wait and to help guide the doctors. However, I am calm and relaxed about the surgery. I am worried about what will happen after, but I have never second guessed my physician or the treatment procedure. I was ready for this.

Overall, I will be okay. Whatever happens, it won't be me who suffers. Unfortunately, it will be everyone else. I will be happy with the outcome and hope that everyone else will be able to be happy with it as well. Mostly, I just want everything to go away, though!

Symptoms

The nurses, radiology technicians, and doctors all want to know how the tumor was found, so here is my story.

I believe it all started about 2 years ago when I was pregnant with my baby boy. July 2008, I was eight months pregnant. I arched my back and leaned over my husband to become dizzy to the point the room was spinning. I sat up quickly contributing it all to be pregnant. I then had Chantry August 2008. Six weeks later, I was supposed to return to Church, but got the dizzy flu. I was so sick and couldn't get off the floor. My husband took care of me and I slept. I was okay by the next day. I was okay for the rest of that year, I think.

In 2009, the dizzy and vomiting episodes increased to about once a month and then became more often. (Mostly caused when I would lean back.) I gradually lost weight even though I tried to eat more. I became sick in the mornings and couldn't eat until about 9 or 10 (up and going 3-4 hours).

In 2010, I was constantly dizzy and sick. Mondays would be the worst. As the week went on, I felt better, but got tired. I had a hard time getting up in the morning and keeping food down.

Throughout all this time I had been going to the doctor. I was diagnosed by my primary care physician with sinus infections, labyrinth infections, and BPPV (benign paroxysmal positional vertigo). I received medication (antibiotics) and the treatments (Epley Maneuver) associated. It would work for a time, and then everything would return. So I was then referred to an ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor). He said I had received the correct treatments, and since they didn't work he would pursue it. The sinus CT scan wasn't enough, so he also ordered a brain MRI. Most of my symptoms fit with migraines (minus the headache). So I was also put on medication for that. The MRI showed a tumor. He referred me to a neurosurgeon who is now on vacation, so he referred me on to Salt Lake. I have since been receiving treatment from Richard Schmidt. And that is how I got to where I am today!

Tuesday Continued

What a long day!! The scans from yesterday were clean so it looks like only the tumor in my head. My blood pressure was lower than normal today, but I didn't feel like I was going to pass out and still haven't. The doctor told me to increase the amount of meds I am taking. Surgery on Friday and then recovery. There are still many unanswered questions, but it will remain that way for awhile.

Good News and quick thoughts.

-The MRI of Katrina's spine came back clear, so all we need to worry about is the one in her head. I like to tell her that her tumor is all in her head. She, of course, doesn't think that, that is very funny.

-It's amazing to me how utterly exhausting just sitting in waiting rooms for hours is. 


-She got to wear the latest style in bracelets home from the hospital today.  A lovely red ID bracelet.

-We are now less than 72 hours from surgery.

To Bus Pass or not to Bus Pass?

I'm thinking of getting a bus and train pass so I can use mass transit to get to and from the hospital. I've never liked being downtown let alone driving. With all the roads torn up like they are it's just that much worse.

I found out yesterday from the receptionist at the neuroscience building's MRI lab that there is a stop right there by the children's hospital. That means that if I catch the train from here, then transfer to the university line at the central station, it will take about the same amount of time as driving. It will also cost about the same as fuel. The question then becomes one of trading a little convenience for less stress. All things considered Mass transit sounds better all the time. 

For those who might be interested in the numbers. I figure I'll spend about $150 in gas over the next couple of weeks getting to and from the hospital. A July premium pass, which includes both the train and the rest of the mass transit system, is $162. We've been taking between just over and hour, to an hour and a half to get there (which will probably get worse given that I'll be trying to dive in rush hour traffic). I can be to the hospital in just over and hour on mass transit not counting my drive to the station which should only be about 10 minutes or so.

Tuesday

The MRI took forever yesterday! I held really still so I could get out faster. I meet with the doctor after all the pre-op stuff to go over the MRI. I really hope nothing is in my spinal fluid! I had two veins collapse yesterday, so I need to drink more, I think!!

So time to go eat and drink!

Monday

MRI of my brain and spine today. I'm not feeling so well. I used to push myself before I knew what was really causing the trouble, though. Now I eat and sit still so it will stay down. I only weigh 100 lbs. As much as some women would love that, I have actually gained some weight! Yay, me. Unfortunately, I believe I may lose some more before it's all over. After I am home, I hope to gain more weight and get stronger!!

New Meds

The doctor put me on some medication to shrink the swelling in my brain that was suppose to make me feel much better. Well, I still feel sick, but I do keep my food down. That is nice. My balance is better, but I am still off. So I am doing better I think, but not much better. One more week and I get this thing out of my brain!

Yesterday was a great day. I felt very good. I think I then over did it today, and I felt bad. So now I am not going to even try to go to church tomorrow. Next Sunday I will be in the hospital. So I guess I am going to be medically inactive!

Katrina's Viewpoints

Mostly I feel like I am in a bad dream that I need to wake up from. I don't feel like I am going through the grieving process correctly. Or maybe I am just slow at it, because I haven't hit the angry stage yet.

I need to relieve some of the stress, I guess, but it is hard to put that on others. I need to be taken care of for a long time and I don't want others to get tired of me.

I am getting bored due to the fact that I have started seeing double. Yesterday, the doctor gave me some meds to reduce the swelling in my brain - maybe I can read then. So I have been playing lots of computer, because I can be still and pull the laptop as close as I need it.

I really need a schedule and time frame, but I'm not going to get it! Right now I have to live one doctor's appointment to the next. So I know part of next week and that is all until after I wake up from the surgery.

The Plan of Attack

It has been s long day to say the very least. Long story short, I'll be driving down to the U a lot. K has an appointment Monday for an MRI of her spine to make sure that there are not any tumor "droplets" that have seeded down lower. Then Tuesday will be the pre-op. Friday they'll do a more advanced MRI so the doctor have a recent high quality MRI to look at when he goes in after the tumor later that day. 6-12 hours later they'll be done with the surgery. Then she'll most likely spend the weekend in a medically induced coma. After that we'll know if we need radiation. Also she may or may not have to do rehab. Seven to ten days after surgery, if all went well, she'll be able to come home. Then we'll have a long road to recovery ahead.

A hard day

A hard day today. Katrina tried going in to work. But called me around noon to come get her because she felt too sick. Which reminds me, she can't drive anymore because she is seeing double. Thank goodness we only have to wait until Thursday morning to see the nureoligist instead of August 16th, which still floors me.

She's having trouble keeping food down. I'm worried about the amount of nutrition she is getting. I'm going to have to see how things go tommorrow. We may have to try to get her in to see a doctor if she can't keep more food down.

A Hard Weekend.

It's been a hard weekend for Katrina and Me. Friday afternoon when Doctor Richards told us about the tumor he told us that her regretted having to tell us before a weekend. I thought it wouldn't be too bad. I was wrong. Saturday we did great joking about it and taking it in stride. By Sunday night I felt like we crashed. Katrina was exhausted and seeing double. We'd put on our best face for two days but now I was scared. I wanted to scream, to call for help, something, but I felt so impotent. There was nothing I could do for her. She went to bed early which left me alone with my thoughts. I had myself a bath, a good sob, and a long prayer. Then I felt a little  better.

This morning we tried to set up appointments. Which was an extremely frustrating experience. The first doctor she called wouldn't see her until August 16th! August, Stinking, 16th! what a nightmare. We eventually found one that would see us on July 6th but that still felt like an eternity. Finally she got a hold of the neurosurgeon that doctor Richards referred us to and he will be able to see he will be able to see us Thursday.