MRI Results

Katrina's scan came back clean. No visible cancer in her brain or spine.

Guilty

I've been feeling guilty lately about not posting. I'm not even sure there is very much interest in the blog anymore.

Life has been crazy for us these past few months. Lots of family drama and other trials. We've had lots of close family in and out of the hospital for one reason or another and Three Divorces. Top all that off with the fact that I've gone back to work and school.

College is going great for me. I'm about three weeks ahead of schedule in my courses. I just passed LUT 1 today! Work has been fun too. I'd forgotten how much more fun it was to be a staff member than director.

Katrina is doing pretty good too. I know that her rehab doctor's are pleased with her progress. It's not all peaches and cream but she has come a long way. Especially given that all she could do right after surgery was drool on herself and cry weakly. It wasn't pretty and thankfully it seems like a distant nightmare now. She has her total cerebral spinal MRI this week and then a follow up with the Chemo Doc to discuss it. I hope our blessings hold out and it comes back clean. We've been fortunate that her scans have been coming back clean so far, although her white count has never really recovered from the radiation.

Thank you to those of you who continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Trouble comes in thr. . . err . . . fours?

So It seems our trouble is not over yet. Katrina's mom was admitted to the hospital last night. She had some pockets of infection in her body and one ruptured. The doctors where hoping that surgery wouldn't be required and that her body would fight off the infection on its own.

This evening her temperature spiked and her pain "came back with a vengeance." They are taking her into the OR asap.

Doctors and School

We had a Rehab follow up appointment for Katrina today. He says he sees improvement which is encouraging. I noticed that her legs aren't spread nearly as wide as they used to have to be to keep her balance. He's also prescribing her some medication that is supposed to give a little kick in the pants to her thinking ability. Hopefully this will help her ratchet up to the high functioning, multitasking, Thinker that she used to be. Sometimes it's like she is painfully close to being back to normal, but it's just out of reach. Hopefully this gives her that little extra boost.

I Have begun the process to return to College. I got my Associates degree years ago then life happened and I never completed my course of study. It has been on my mind a lot the last few months. What would i do if I lose Katrina or she's never able to return to work. Unpleasant questions to ask myself to say the least, but I feel they are important ones to ask. I feel like I need to have my degree and right now while we watch and wait is probably about as good a time to do it as we are going to get. I'm nervous about the financial side of that. Things are ultra tight for us and will probably get worse before they get better. So I'm hoping to get some financial aid figured out.

If you know of any scholarships for male teachers let me know. I need everything I can get.

Trouble comes in threes

Trouble comes in threes. Hopefully that means we're done for a while.

After My brother and cousin have both ended up in the hospital I am sad to say that Katrina's Grandmother passed away this morning.

Doctor's Appointment Update 8-9-11

We had an appointment to follow up with the Chemo doctor today. Things still look good with no new growth. He white level counts have climbed two tenths and she weighed 99 pounds.

We had an opportunity to visit with my Cousin, His wife and My aunt and Uncle. My cousin had a farming accident Friday and hurt his hand pretty bad. He seemed in good spirits. Please pray for him and his family as they go through their struggles right now. In farming your hands are are pretty important things, and I know that they'd really appreciate the prayers. I wish that Katrina and I were in a better position to help them out some how. They are just good down to earth, friendly people, whom I really feel it a pleasure to call family.

An update on my brother, he's doing well. They seem to have the brain swelling and blood thickness under control He's up and around being a nerdy teenager again.

A Week

It's been a stressful week, and I'm beginning to think that the month of July is cursed for my family and me.

My brother had to come home from scout camp because he got super sick. He probably never should have gone because he wasn't feeling well that morning. It turned out that he had a blood clot in the artery in the base of his skull and he spent a few days in the hospital. He's home now but it will be some time before he can return to anything nearing normal activity.

The other thing that happen is our vehicles both need registered this month, and my truck failed safety. To make a long story short; it was a costly repair involving the axle and the rear breaks. It ended up costing a little more than half of what we were quoted, but we still couldn't afford it. Thankfully Katrina's mother was able to help us out there.

It seems like every time we start to get life figured out and things are going okay again life throws us another zinger.

Katrina sent off some paper work to the university to get into the student learning rehab center like her rehab lady wanted her too. If that goes through it will be twice a week. It will also cost us thirteen dollars a session. They gave us a huge break on the cost though. It's normally fifty or sixty bucks a session.

Rehab, done?

Katrina finished up her most recent amount of allotted rehab appointments. It's frustrating that the insurance has so much say in how many they will cover. She needs the rehab and progresses so much better when she is going. What gives the insurance the right to say she doesn't need them.

Our specialist recommended that we look into the student clinic at the University to get some more rehab since the work on a sliding pay scale because we are helping teach students at the same time we receive rehab. We'll have to look into it before we commit. It would be two days a week and that can add up real quick when it's out of pocket.

A bad person?

Does the fact that I torment a disabled person make me a bad person? Katrina seems to think so. ;oP

Friday Update 7-8-11

We celebrated our anniversary this past week. It doesn't seem like we have been married nearly as long as we have.

We are still here, we are still scrapping by. I guess you can't complain too much about that. It's far better to scrape by than to not get by at all.

I'm begging to question the logic of continuing to post weekly. We just have our little day to day struggles so there isn't really anything to write about. I feel like a broken record.

Friday Update 7-1-11 One year and Counting

July Second will probably always be surgery day for us. It was probably one of the longest most devastating days of my life and for her the day that only lasted a couple of hours.

Still we've come a long way since then and it fells good to be marking anniversaries.

Things are going good. The rehab specialist we are seeing says that she is seeing progress, which is encouraging. We stopped by her school today and her interactions seemed to be more . . . normalized(?) than before. I hope that given this coming year off to heal she'll be able to return to what she loves doing.

Friday . . . Er . . . Saturday Update 6-25-11

Nothing new to report. Things are going okay.

Friday . . . Er . . . Saturday Update 6-18-11

Things are going okay. I find myself getting discouraged but Katrina seems to be progressing. She still has bad days but they seem to be slowly growing further and further apart.

Friday . . . Er . . . Saturday Update 6-11-11

We received the official letter that her long term disability was approved, but the very next day we received a letter stating that it would take approximately 30 day for them to figure out her pay. I just hope that they give us some back pay.

Katrina continues to feel like she is improving, and maybe she is. I just can't help but be skeptical because sometimes it feels like our luck won't allow improvement. Plus, even though she seems to be doing well at home I worry about putting her back into a stressful environment and seeing things go badly again.

They have asked both of us to teach the 4 and 5 year old class at church. It will be an interesting proving ground for her, a way to test the waters so to speak. Also, it might give her a chance to kind of work on those parts of teaching that she struggles with in a small class setting with less stress.

Friday Update 6-3-11

We haven't gotten official notice on Katrina's Disability Insurance yet, but they told her when she called the other day that they were just calculating her pay which we are hoping means that she was approved.

Katrina told the Rehab specialist today that she feels like she is thinking better. Our Rehab lady has really tried to push Katrina to think about how she thinks so she can improve.

We also followed up with the rehab doctor at the hospital this week and he still feels like given time she can make an almost full recovery and even return to teaching.

I guess that these things are a change from the pure bad news we seem to have been wading through the last few months. But it gets hard sometimes, when you can see any light ahead and you have no choice but to continue to trudge head long into the darkness. Never knowing what pit you might stumble into at any moment.

I pray for guidance about what I should do job wise. I pray to know what to do about a great many things as far as our future is concerend and invariably I get the same answer. "Patience, watch and wait."

That's hard for me. I see a problem and I want to rush in and fix it, but I can't. There is nothing I can do, and to won't do any good to go off complaining about the journey the Lord is taking us on. I've got to trust in him, but it gets hard sometimes.

Friday Update 5-27-11

We've been waiting most of this month to find out if her disability insurance was going to go through or not. Yesterday we called, again, to find out what was going on. It turns out that they have been waiting for our health insurance to send her records to them.

We called the Health insurance company and they pretty much said they weren't going to provide that information to anyone and that if we wanted it done we had to go on their website and print them off ourselves. So we did and then we faxed them to the Disability insurance people. Hopefully things get going now.

Also, We found out on the 24th that we had to apply for COBRA to continue our insurance since her disability hasn't gone through yet. That's going to cost us $1300.00,which we can't afford, but that's still cheaper than trying to pay her medical bills ourselves. Yuck! The good news is that if she is approved for disability the School district will take back over paying for her insurance.

The point of this update is that we need your prayers. We are on the cusp of severe trouble. Please pray that her disability gets approved and that it happens quickly.

Friday Update 5-20-11 HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Well today is Katrina's Birthday. Happy birthday love.

Therapy has been nice. Unlike the last speech therapist we saw this one involves me in the process which helps me, because then I can help re-enforce the things they are doing at home. The last one didn't even want me in the room.

We are still waiting to hear back on her disability benefits, which is frustrating. I'd just like to know where we are so we can move forward.

Friday Update 5-13-11

We found out after the testing with the rehab lady that Katrina preforms well mentally until there is an outside distraction like a time constraint or other things going on. Then things don't work so well for her. Our insurance authorized eight sessions so we'll have lots of homework in between.

We also met with the chemo doctor again this week and her MRI still looks clean. I was really worried going in though because our luck has been touchy lately.

We've also had some very generous gifts given too us. Although we don't know who you are we want you to know we are truly grateful. Thank you.

Friday Update 5-6-11

We had her first new rehab appointment today. It went well. We were there way early because it's all interstate all the way and not stop and go city driving, which was nice.

We don't really have a rehab plan yet. She just did some testing today and she'll finish up next week; then we'll go from there.


Thank you again to people who keep praying for us, and doing whatever they can to help. I'm still surprised at people's generosity and am grateful for the blessing it has been in our lives.


Oh, By the Way, we go the basement dried out. It took like four days given the cool humidity last week but the basement is put back together. I also fixed my tub which broke Saturday night.

Friday Update on Thursday. 4-28-11

When it rains it pours . . . down the basement wall and across the billiard table.

Lately we've just seem to be having one of those spats of rough luck that everyone goes through once in a while. Yesterday was no exception.

Last summer I felt the faucet on the front of our house twist a little. A similar thing happened the same week we moved in years ago. Back then the faucet pipe broke in the house and it was a mess. Luckily, Or so I thought, that didn't happen last summer. Fast forward to yesterday and I decided to test some sprinklers on my hose. The pressure burst the pipe just like when we first moved in. only this time I was blissfully ignorant of it due to the fact that I was outside fiddle farting around. Luckily Katrina had to go down stairs for something or it could have been much much worse. fifty dollars (we don't have) and several hours later we had the water turned back on and the basement drying out.

Also we came to the tough decision that it would be better, for a number of reasons, if we found a new home for our dog. He's an AKC papered pure bred Basset Hound who has not been neutered (we originally had hoped to breed him). He's just over five years old and stubborn as an ox (Basset hounds can be like that). He's Always been an outside dog and doesn't care to be in the house for more than a few minutes unless he's getting attention. If you know anyone who might be interested let us know.

Friday . . . Er . . . Saturday Update 4-23-11

I meant to post yesterday but the day just got away from me.

The last couple of weeks have really been a roller coaster ride of emotion.

Last week Katrina's Principal Provided us with a letter that described the areas of concern that she was seeing with Katrina at work. It was very well worded and showed a lot of love and concern while being necessarily blunt. It described how Katrina functioned before the cancer as opposed to now to make it clear that this isn't a choice Katrina made to just stop providing the best quality work she can.

Monday we took that letter to our rehabilitation doctor at the hospital. He glanced over it an recommended that Katrina go back to part time as well as begin some cognitive therapy again. He referred us to a lady in Sugar House who he she in his opinion was the best in the state for these sorts of issues. Being the best in the state we are on a waiting list to see her.

Tuesday the district approved the hiring of another certified teacher "Sub" for Katrina to team teach with for the rest of the year.

Thursday the doctors office called us. After the doctor had looked more closely at the letter He decided that it would be best if Katrina went off work entirely. We are currently working to get her disability insurance going again.

In a way it is kind of a relief to me. It has been so hard for me to watch as she struggled and fought so hard to do the best she could and kept coming up sort at work. The fact of the matter is that she just wasn't ready cognitively to return to work. Unfortunately there was no way we could have known that without alot of pain and stress all around. She may have to work a few days into may but after that she'll be back disability for . . . we don't know how long. Maybe a year, maybe until she's 65.

I'm okay with her being home, and I'm okay with looking for work myself. The only problem is that I don't feel like I can find a job just yet if I've got to be taking her to Sugar House and back all the time. In the Mean time I mentioned that do have another project that I have been working on, so I'm going to polish up some of that and see what happens. I really hope it works, It's something I've always wanted to do and being home these last few months has given time to do it.

The future is still very unsure, but I'm more at peace than I have been in weeks.

Friday Update 4-15-11

It has been a tough week for us. Katrina has really struggled at work this term. It is an unfortunate situation all around I don't don't think anyone involved feels good about how things have gone. Parents are understandably concerned about the education of their students. It's just not a happy situation for any of us and we are currently working with her principal and the district to see what can be done to help Katrina. We are currently working on a couple of ideas (which I won't discuss here) that should help to ensure The students get a quality education while still allowing Katrina to Work in some capacity.

I'm also putting out feelers about employment myself in hopes of possibly relieving some of her burden depending on what we her back from the district in the next little bit. Also I've been working on a project at home that one day might help with that regard as well, but again I don't want to discuss that publicly either. especially since it might all be pipe dreams anyway.

We decided just today to register our daughter for kindergarten at the school near our home instead of Katrina's school. At this point we aren't sure where Katrina will be next month let alone next year. Plus the Local school has all day kindergarten which Katrina's school doesn't

How can I sum this week up. A whole lot of yuck and a whole lot of tears.

P.S. To the anonymous person or Persons who keep dropping envelopes in Katrina's box at work; Thank You. It helps immensely.

Friday Update 4-08-11

Well, Katrina went of track Wednesday or rather she went on spring break with her off track time starting Monday. It's nice for both of us to have the break.

Friday . . . Er . . . Saturday Update 4-2-11

I didn't forget to post yesterday I just struggled all day with how/what to post.

I am usually a pretty private person so it's easy to post when things are going okay, but when we struggle my pride wants me to keep it to myself.

Katrina is really struggling at work. Her Principal told us that she has seen improvement, but It bothers Katrina that she isn't back to normal. She was so high functioning that it drives her nuts to have to struggle. For the most part the parents of her students have been very supportive. There have been those who are creating waves though, and to be honest their complaints aren't entirely without merit. I can completely understand their concerns and I know that Katrina is working her heart out to fix them. Most of all she struggles with classroom management.

We all have a sixth sense that can detect when someone is weak. It's a natural survival instinct. Unfortunately this means that subconsciously her sixth graders realize she isn't as strong as she could be and with that is a loss of respect that makes discipline harder than normal.

I have offered to find a full time job so that she can quit and stay home with our kids, but she wants to teach. She's just not the type to give up. Despite her struggles she loves her job, and she loves her students.

The second struggle that we have had this week is that her paycheck was far less than we expected. We had just enough to pay our bills with nothing left over for gas or groceries.

My mother stopped by last night and gave us a small loan (or gift if we can't pay it back). I am about to go through all of our cabinets and see what I can scrape together for meals this month. Then we'll go to the store later to try to squeeze some dollars out of dimes. I know that I should be stressed about our finances this month but I feel oddly at peace about it, like everything will be okay. Good thing my kids love mac and cheese, and ramen noodles.


*update*
After scraping the insides of my cupboards I was able to plan out enough meals so that when we went shopping we only spent $118.00. Not too shabby for a months worth of groceries.

*update*
Katrina's dad and brother showed up with a bunch stuff groceries us. We would have been okay, but it's nice to have full cabinets.

Friday Update 3-25-11

Things are still going well. She seems to be doing better all the time. I noticed last night while she was working on the computer that she looks healthier than she has in a long time.

I hope that things are going well at work, but it's hard for me to gauge that since I'm not there. We are looking forward to spring break.

Friday Update 3-18-11

Katrina's appointment went really good Wednesday. The scan was still clean and she actually put on weight for the first time in 2 years. She is up to a whopping 98 lbs.

The Neurosurgeon doesn't feel like he needs to see us anymore so we'll just be following her progress at Huntsman every three months or so.

Friday Update 3-11-11

Nothing new to report. We have a doctor appointment next week.

D&C 121

7 My Son, peace be unto they soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

8 And then, if thou endure it well, god shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

9 Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.

10 Thou are not yet as Job: they friends do not contend against thee, neither charge thee with transgression, as they did Job.

update 3-4-11

Katrina was observed by her mentor teacher this week. She gave her some suggestions and I hope that they help. I just keep hoping and praying that she'll succeed at work. She loves teaching so much.

She is doing really good as far as things outside of work are concerend. I can tell when she gets tired though. Her gait becomes a little less stable and he speech slurs a bit.

update 2-26-11

I hate doing posts like this So we'll get it over quickly.

Things are about the same. We are doing about as good as can be expected with all the unknowns about the future that accompany things like this. Thanks for your continued love, prayers , and support.

update 2-19-11

Well, It has been a rough week. We had thought that Katrina was doing well at work, but I guess she has still been struggling with math instruction. It's not that she can't do the math because she can. It's just that the way she has been teaching the students isn't working. She's going to observe another how another teacher teaches math. She's also going to a training next week that should give her some math lesson ideas. Additionally, they are trying to get her mentor similar to a first year teacher so that she can kind of teacher re-hab.

She loves teaching so much and it's hard to see her struggle with this after she has made so much progress. I just hope that she continues to progress.

Friday Update 2-11-11

The MRI went good. No real changes, thank goodness. She did however lose even more weight. She's down to 95.5 lbs.

Friday Update 2-4-11

Although she doesn't officially start back on track until Monday she is back to work again today. Track change Friday is almost always faculty meeting in the morning. Then there was some sort of tutor meeting. She was debating whether to just spend the whole day there getting ready or not.

I don't think that people realize just how much time teachers put in that they don't get paid for. She has been off track for three weeks. Even so, just about every day she put in two or three hours, grading papers, planning lessons, and analyzing where students are struggling so she can help them overcome. Don't go thinking this is something new. It's always been this way, and I know from working in a school that it's not just her.

We have an MRI and follow up coming up; so look for that update next week.

update 1-31-11

I had a friend lovingly remind me that I hadn't posted an update last week. I didn't forget I just don't like posting the same things over and over.

She goes back on track Friday. It has been nice to have her home, and not to have to drive back and forth to her school drop her off and pick her up. Still, she did do a better job driving last time we tried it. Like everything it is slowly coming back.

when you go through something like this you see the best and worst of some people. It blows me away every time someone acts like a jerk towards her. As if there world will never come crumbling down in a heart beat. I'm sure everyone will be all roses and sunshine to them though because they're different. They're better somehow than everyone else so nothing bad could ever happen to them. Sometimes it has been people we know. Other times it has been random strangers walking by in public places.

But like I said there is the other side of that too. We've seen a lot of unexpected good from people too. I guess peoples true nature is revealed when, in their mind, someone is lesser than they are. Are they kind, loving, tolerant, and Christ like, as so many have been towards us? Or are they petty, self absorbed, and cruel, like a few have been. It has truly been interesting to observe human nature from a disadvantaged state. It brings a whole new meaning to ideas like, "judge not lest you be judged" and "If ye have done it unto one of the least of these."

I can only hope that every good act paid to us is returned ten-fold upon the people who have done them. It is hard for me not to hope the same of those who have done us ill; Because after all, I am just a man. And it stings worse when your are fighting with all you have to be back to "Normal." I am trying to forgive and forget though. And venting like this seems to have helped.

update 1-22-11

Things are still going well. I know that Katrina gets frustrated that she can't do certain things as well as she used to. She's come so far since the days right after surgery but she still has struggles. It bothers her that her fine motor control isn't what it used to be especially when it comes to her handwriting and things like that.

I personally feel that she is doing really well and given time those little things like that will continue to improve. Still, it's hard; here and now, to have a list of things that she used to be able to do that she can't do again yet.

Pat

Way back in June when we found out about Katrina's tumor I was lost. I didn't know what to do, and I felt utterly helpless. I was searching the web looking for information about brain tumors and I found a blog by Pat Navin. I reached out to her. She has given me loads of great advice and become a dear friend to me as I have helped Katrina face this. My heart is breaking. I have to add her to an ever growing list of people who cancer has taken from me. This on the heels of the death of my Great Aunt Kay after her prolonged battle with cancer.

Please pray for both of their families.

Brought Me to Tears

I heard this song today while going through my itunes. I haven't heard it in years, but it brought me to tears.



*update* It doesn't act like it's working but you can hear it here.

Update 1-10-11

Sorry, I keep forgetting to update.

Katrina returned to work full time last Monday, and she seemed to handle it well as far as energy goes. She seems to be doing really good from what I can see, but I always worry about what goes on at work. I just don't know If she's remembering how to teach or not. She seems to have it all together when we talk though.

She has parent teacher conferences this week. I hope they go well for her.  

A Quote

I try to copy down may favorite quotes from the books I read in a little leather journal that I keep on my headboard. Last night I was reading through some of them and I came across this one. 

" . . . a strong man may endure much in the face of adversity, but few strong men could stand to see their women and children endure the same troubles. It was man's natural instinct, bred from ages before men were even men, to protect the family."
-Louis L'Amour "The Mountain Valley War."

 L'Amour Books always have good quotes and pearls of wisdom in them. This one seemed to fit my feelings over the last few months perfectly.

Friday . . . Er . . . Saturday Update 1-1-11

            The other day when we met with the Neurosurgeon he looked at us and said, " It's been a hell of a six months."  I think that I can just apply that statement to all of 2010 and say that I'm glad it's behind me and I hope that we only move forward from here.

             Katrina continues to do well and is planning to return to work full time on Monday. I hope it goes well for her.